Monday, March 19, 2007

Surfacing

The worst of the physical process seems to be over. And, as I said to Trillian earlier today, there’s a part of me that wishes it would have hurt more. The cramps have never even approached the pain I tend to feel in the first couple days of menstruation. And now I just have to wait for things to taper off. I think I was hoping that, just for a little bit, the physical pain might match the mental anguish. I know that I’m lucky not to be dealing with that right now.

I’ve decided to take off one more day of classes, to give myself permission to lay low for another day. And then on Wednesday, I’ll be headed back to campus and a meeting with my supervisor. Since my timetable has now shifted, I will be throwing myself into my school work as soon as I find I can tread water again. With our new timing, I will be even closer to ABD by the next due date. I still would have preferred to stay with our first plan, but this can work too.

My public service announcement for today: Checking in with StatCounter, I see that several visitors have come by way of searches for things like “slow rising hcg healthy pregnancy” and “8 weeks so tired.” I feel bad that these women, possibly very worried about what they’re experiencing, are coming upon me just as I’m dealing with a miscarriage. And I want to make it clear to them that the experiences I had and blogged about, the ones that have landed them here, were a part of my first pregnancy. The one that resulted in the healthy, though challenging, bundle of energy who will turn four very soon.

4 comments:

Mad Hatter said...

Mouse
I am just coming to this set of posts now. I don't know what to say other than I am so deeply, deeply sorry for your loss. For the loss that all three of you are facing.

Lisa b said...

Oh Mouse even in your bleak times you are worried about others.
lay low as long as you need to.

cinnamon gurl said...

I keep coming back here, but haven't said anything because I didn't know what to say beyond I'm so sorry... which I already said.

But I keep thinking of you and your family.

Take care.

Naomi (Urban Mummy) said...

I just came to this set of posts after a bit of a hiatus from the computer.

I'm so sorry.

There is nothing more to say.