Even though I've written most of my next Global Warming Wednesday post, I'm not quite at a point where I'm ready to switch back to my usual posting pattern. I'm almost there, but I need to process just a bit more before I get there.
Today I made it back onto campus, got a hug from the friend who knew, avoided most other people, and met with my supervisor. I had been semi-avoiding him for most of the semester. Our schedules have been somewhat opposite anyway, so it hasn't taken much conscious effort, but I also had wanted to wait until I was ready to tell him I was pregnant.
I have been nervous about telling my supervisor, any faculty member really, about my miscarriage, mostly because it is an admission that I have been trying to get pregnant. As I mentioned to my friend, there's no way for me to claim it was an accident--or if I did, that would be an even bigger scandal. Luckily, my supervisor took that in stride and, as we discussed what I'll be doing over the next year, made sure my school plans took family plans into account. The meeting also served to remind me that I'm just about to move into the next stage of my program, and that's a little daunting--but I'm saving the panic for later.
Tomorrow I'm getting a manicure, a little treat for myself. And then steeling myself for the arrival of family in celebration of Scooter's upcoming 4th birthday. Which really does blow my mind when I can pull back for a moment--4? My baby? He can't be that old!