Monday, September 25, 2006

Reminding myself of the lesson I supposedly have already learned

It took only two tries for me to get pregnant with my son.

After the first try, I was 100% convinced it had worked, just knew I'd get the second line on the pregnancy test. And then I got my period.

The second time, I was 100% convinced that our timing was off and that there was no way I was pregnant. I tested two days before my period was due (with tests that claimed they could detect up to four days early). Negative. On the day my period was actually due, I tested again, at my wife's insistence (she's adding, as I write this, that I was acting crazy, so she was pretty sure I was pregnant, despite my convictions to the contrary). And a second line appeared. I was pregnant.

I am trying to remind myself that the brain is a tricky thing. That the frequent twinges on my right side, occasional nausea, exhaustion, excess saliva, bloating (without noticeable weight gain), and sore breasts are a figment of my imagination. It is, technically, too early to be feeling any symptoms according to every medical guide I can find. The earliest I'll let myself crack open one of those pregnancy tests sitting in my bathroom is this Sunday. And yet...

Ever practical, I went to a clinic in Nearby US City today for a consultation and to establish myself as a patient. I know exactly what I need to do to set up insemination for the next time I ovulate. But always with the caveat, "If I'm not already pregnant."

My wife thinks I'm pregnant. And deep down I do too. But I just keep remembering I've been here before.


Lisa b said...

ooooo he he he he he
here's hopin too!

bubandpie said...

The phantom symptoms! In the year it took to conceive Bub, I think I experienced every single one in the book (except the twinges - I only got those when it was the real thing, until recently, when I've been getting them just prior to each period).

Here's hoping you're right, though.