It has been a hard week, one of those weeks in parenting about which I might normally fall silent or try to spin into comedy.
We have, perhaps, had a bit much of family time at this point. I had hoped that the start of preschool might take care of this, fervently ignoring any thoughts of the adjustment this might require. Though it would be oversimple to blame the week on just preschool.
Scooter is obviously stressed. Even before this week, he has at times gone back to chewing on his clothing. He also recently added fingernails, an echo of my own bad habit. In addition to this, he has had frantic moments, getting so worked up that he can't calm down. Sometimes his actions become compulsive. Yesterday, he was rolling a toy truck on me. I asked him to stop rolling it on me, first politely, but quickly growing impatient as he responded simply by laughing and continuing with the action. Even when I yelled, he wouldn't/couldn't stop. Not until I got a hold of the truck (he was also trying to move it away from wherever I reached) did he even look at me.
I suspect--and hope--that part of the problem, but only part, over the past 48 hours has a partial origin in the snack he had on Thursday. His teacher and I had discussed me sending in crackers for their "cooking" lesson, since all of the other students would be getting crackers. I dutifully packed up two kinds and put them in his backpack. But after school on Thursday, the crackers were still in his backpack and he was talking about the "toast" he'd had. (The teacher was gone that day, so I guess the information about his gluten sensitivity was not passed along to the substitute.) He had a day of meltdowns in preschool on Friday and then the toy incident, not to mention just generally being out of sorts. Then a hard time participating appropriately in gymnastics today.
After a week like this, I find myself wondering if I can handle any more or if this is my limit. I can't help but think of the fact that had things gone differently, I would be doing all of this with a 4-month-old or 3 weeks from delivering. But then that would be my reality and I would find a way to deal with it (lots of help from Grandma and a leave from school, I suspect). Since neither scenario is my reality, however, I am in a position to say simply, "No more." I haven't made any irreversible decisions, but have decided it's time to reevaluate my plans when I walk into a pet shop (to buy a fish tank) and find myself thinking that I would prefer a dog right now to another child.