Winding up

There has been an increase in stress and anxiety in my household over the past couple weeks. That isn't exactly a surprise--we're moving very soon. And the way we're going about it will spread the transition out over a month or so. But the first part occurs next week when I ferry Scooter and Trillian down to her parents before I fly back up to finish up my class and oversee the move-proper.

Part of our intent in this process has been to settle Scooter in at his grandparents for most of December. It's a place where he feels comfortable and has plenty of people who adore him. It can also serve as a base for Trillian from which she can handle some of the things that still need to be done for our new house.

But I shouldn't be surprised that Scooter has caught a whiff of the anxiety and is feeling a bit keyed up over the changes. We have told him that we're moving and have talked about all the great things that we'll have there. But it won't stop him from missing the routines of his life here. And so he's been telling us about everything he likes here, how much he loves his friends, how great our current "house" (apartment, really) is, how much fun he has in Toronto.

It tugs at the heartstrings.

Of course, I need that to deal with the other side of his increased anxiety. He has started making a repetitive noise, a grunt from the back of his throat. It's not entirely voluntary, and so Trillian and I are dealing with it the way we've come to deal with most of his speech and kinetic idiosyncrasies: ignore it. If we don't ignore it, if we repeatedly point it out and try to stifle it, we know that he'll either do it more or come up with a new behavior to replace it.

The problem with all of this for me relates to my own sensory issues. I am very aurally sensitive. I have learned to tune out a number of noises and have done other things to desensitize myself (this could be a series of posts on its own), but a lot of this breaks down when I'm experiencing greater levels of stress and anxiety. As Trillian so often points out: like mother, like son.

I have this feeling that things will start to improve once we get to my in-laws'. I expect some of the anxiety to begin dissipating as soon as we're in the car this weekend; sure, long car trips are stressful in themselves, but it will be a relief to finally be doing something towards the goal we set ourselves so many months ago.