Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Bittersweet

It is only in the past few days that the reality of our move has begun to settle in. And now it's practically upon us. To be fair, this first trip is to transfer Trillian, Scooter, and our car to the in-laws'. I have to come back to finish my seminar and oversee packing, so my departure isn't permanent--but the idea that my daily existence will be changing is just now starting to register.
  • No, I didn't find the title. I'm pretty sure I put it somewhere "safe" at some point, thinking I'd remember. And once I do find it, I'll realize just how logical it was. Or maybe it will turn up in some place I've already looked multiple times, just tucked behind another document. In the meantime, I'll be sending off for a new one. It means we won't be registering the car next week, but we have a little bit longer and could probably even justify claiming that the clock on that shouldn't start until we no longer have our Canadian address.
  • The house is almost ours. Closing has come damn near to killing us, thanks to a whole litany of little things. Trillian and I spent yesterday chasing down a couple items and today signing documents and then getting them notarized, copied, and overnighted back to Springfield. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, our i's are dotted and t's crossed. But holy hell, we're really going to be living in this house!
  • Scooter has 2 1/2 days left of daycare. Today, while Scooter and his class were playing outside, I dropped off the little packets I put together for his classmates (a postcard and magnet with our new address) and some gifts for the staff. I chatted with one of his teachers outside and she said, "You're going soon, eh? Really exciting for you, but we're sad." And it really hit me that I too am sad that Scooter will be leaving his friends and teachers. They've been so wonderful--always acknowledging just how neat a kid Scooter is, even if he does have extra challenges.
  • I was also knocked out to find a book--Great Trains--in his cubby. I'm pretty sure it's the one I saw him 'reading' (i.e., explaining pictures) to a classmate a couple weeks ago. They gave it to him. He's absolutely over the moon about it, and I'm touched beyond belief by the gesture.
  • On Sunday, the three of us went to a gathering that involved a good number of area bloggers and their kids. This group of women has remained a bright light for me in Toronto, even at my lowest and most homesick. I was so glad to see several of them, but occasionally had to quiet the nagging thought that I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to and was probably looking at another 'last.'
  • Trillian and I went to lunch at our favorite bistro yesterday once we'd tracked down the information for the final mortgage issues. We had a very pleasant meal as always, but we were very aware that this was our last trip there. Probably our last trip out together in Toronto given how hectic the next couple days will be as we get ready to pack up the car and head out.
I have no doubts that this move is the right decision for everyone in my family. I fully expect us to be much happier in Springfield. I hate bad-mouthing Toronto since I know so many great people in the area, but it's been a tough 2 1/2 years for my family and there are several things that will be better simply for not being here. Maybe that's why these recent rushes of emotion have taken me by surprise.

But as we were recently told during a recent consultation about helping Scooter with the transition, it's important to acknowledge the sad bits, not just play up the positives of the future. And so, yes, I'm a little sad.

5 comments:

Sandra said...

Do you know how much I am going to miss you? And how sad I am that I missed Sunday? Because I'd like nothing more to give you and Trillian a giant hug to wish you well and tell you how lucky I am to have met you. But I am grateful for your blog to be able to stay in touch.

S

Aliki2006 said...

I can imagine how bittersweet your departure from Canada will be--I really can. These big moves are always part-sad, part-joyous events, and it will be a big transition for all of you. But you have always sounded really confident in the decision to move, and it sounds like the best thing for all of you.

Good luck!

Laural Dawn said...

we've moved a few times in the last couple of years.
The hardest thing has always been leaving the daycare. We've left 2, and each time I have cried. It's hard.
But, there's something great around the corner.
I hope you like Springfield.

kittenpie said...

I can hear it in this post so clearly, mouse. And I remember it from our own move back here. I was so happy to be moving, yet... And it was the strangest feeling, that both places felt like home to me. I've never had that feeling before. And how wonderful that the daycare is giving Scooter a little sendoff. But hey - us bloggirls will see you around the internet, right?

Mouse said...

I've said to a few people that the social effects of this move are very different for Trillian and me vs. Scooter. I'm very lucky that an internet relationship with the friends I've made in Toronto won't be too big of a change. Heck, I met a good number of these people in the blogosphere to begin with, so our relationships won't change much. For Scooter, however, it's hard to continue a friendship without the physical presence. We're taking pictures and encouraging him to write to people, but it just won't be the same.