Thursday, February 22, 2007

A study in contrasts

Ever since we got our two pink lines, Trillian has been dying to tell her parents. Once I decided that there was no way we’d be able to wait until the end of the first trimester, I suggested we at least wait until our visit; “How much fun would it be,” I tentatively asked, “to tell them in person?” Begrudgingly Trillian agreed. She figured out exactly how she wanted to tell them. To keep things even, I would call my mom once we got to my in-laws’ house.

Conversation #1

Our flight was a little early and we found Grandma and Grandpa having some coffee next to where they usually wait for us. Between Trillian getting our bag and my going to the bathroom (again!), Trillian didn’t get her opportunity immediately. But once we got out to the car and put our bags in the trunk, she took her moment. “Oh, and Mom, Mouse should probably sit up front. In her condition she can get sick pretty easily.”

There was a pause. Grandma looked at each of us. “What are you hiding?” she started. When I nodded, she squealed. More hugs all around. I told them how far along I am and when I’m due. Once we were in the car, more excited questions—how was I feeling? when could we find out if it’s a girl or a boy? how long had we known?

Since then, the topic has come up repeatedly. My mother-in-law has already announced that she’ll be starting some knitting in gender-neutral colors.


Conversation #2

Later that evening, I called my mom. It required finding the email with her new cell phone number and involved one of those odd phone moments—as I was leaving her a voicemail, her phone cut out and then she turned out to be calling me back right then. The basics of our conversation:

Me (once we figured out what had happened): Well, I have some news... I’m pregnant!

Her: (pause)

Me: It’s still very early. I’m only about 5 ½ weeks along and am due mid-October.

Her: Oh... I was just thinking the other day that the two of you had talked about having another.

Me: We’ve actually been trying for a few months. We wanted spacing of 4 to 5 years and Scooter will be just over 4 ½, so that’s just about right.

Her: Now, is it yours... I mean... you’d talked about maybe using Trillian’s...

Me: No, we went the same way as last time. Using Trillian’s egg would have been complicated and more risky. We were also able to use the same donor.

Her: That’s great. I mean, biology isn’t everything, but it’s great that they’ll be full siblings and look alike and share traits.

Me: (long pause) Well, we were happy with the results the first time, so we figured we’d go the same route this time.

A little later in the conversation:

Her: So will you be able to stay with your studies?

Me: Well, after this semester, I’ll have only one more course to take and that will be next Spring. In the meantime, I’ll be working on my department’s equivalent of quals. [Switch subject to school and talk about that for a while.]

To balance that conversation, I then called one of my sisters. She enthusiastically congratulated me many times and jokingly asked if this was planned. She happily reminded me that there will be plenty of hand-me-downs if we have a girl. And congratulated me again.

6 comments:

Her Bad Mother said...

Warm congratulations and affectionate jokes go so much further than conversation, sometimes. Much of the time, even.

bubandpie said...

That's the terrible thing about having TWO sets of parents, isn't it? Sometimes the comparisons are unavoidable.

This post has reminded me to ask - what's your policy on finding out the sex? i.e. Are you going to find out, and, more importantly, are you going to tell US right away???

Mad Hatter said...

Ah families... Fortunately, my family is like Trillian's.

cinnamon gurl said...

Hee hee I like your sister's joke. I tagged you...

Lisa b said...

Sadly it sounds like our moms are similar. Why is it so difficult to express delight at your news? Its fantastic news. Why must the conversation immediately veer to the struggles ahead and the concerns about your degree as if you are not perfectly capable of accomplishing all that is ahead of you. Sorry maybe I am projecting some of my feelings onto you but I just wish that your joy could be celebrated rather than your abilities questioned.
On the other hand your sister sounds like a great character. I am going to use that line on some friends.

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