shit

It's not that I didn't expect to be cleaning up someone else's shit--literal shit--at this point. It was supposed to be an infant's diaper. (And no, this isn't even another miscarriage post.)

Scooter's been backsliding on the potty training. He's able to hold it together during the school day, so at least he doesn't have to deal with any social stigma. But then he gets home and the pressure's off, so he forgets. As his OT has suggested, he seems to be so keyed up for school that he relaxes once he's home and lets it all out.

This is something we brought up with the autism evaluators. Maybe we didn't specifically ask for solutions. I think we made it clear we don't know what else to do beyond the low-pressure, bribery tactics we've employed.

I'm tired of being told that what wonderful parents we are and that we're doing everything we need to for Scooter. Technically, this is not true, as I've become accustomed to hearing this first statement immediately followed by a list of other things to do.

This is what happened at the evaluation. Upon being told he does not qualify for a diagnosis, or at least that they want to wait another year before saying anything more, the speech pathologist then told us the sort of supports that would benefit him. Services that, of course, we cannot easily get from the schools without a diagnosis. (That scream you hear, that's me.)

We should also work on creating a home sensory diet for Scooter, with a book to work from.

For my trip to Toronto, I wrote a social story for Scooter, something he could read while I was gone to remind him of what would be the same and what would be different, how long I'd be gone, what it would be like when I returned (a present figured largely in this). He read it frequently and quoted from it during our phone calls. It clearly helped him handle my absence. Social stories have been one of the things on the list of what more I knew I could be doing--but just didn't get to. (You know, the previous thing that made it clear to me that I wasn't doing everything I could.)

In regards to the academic leave I've been considering, I'm starting to recognize that I won't have to manufacture any excuses. If Scooter is not going to receive speech services, we'll probably add another trip to Capital City or Big City for a social skills speech group. Regardless of that outcome, I will be making more liberal use of social stories (which require an initial investment of time in drawing and writing) and developing a sensory diet to be used on a daily basis. Trying to do a bit more of the list, trying to help Scooter find a balance that might let him move ahead in other areas.

And then I'll wait to see what new shit comes my way.