In the kitchen: pasta fagioli

Want to know about a staple from my poor grad student days? Need a recipe for a deliciously filling soup on a cold day? Head on over to the Kitchen for my first post back.

Oh look, it's 2009

It's taken me a few days, but I'm finally willing to acknowledge that the calendar has rolled over and we have indeed entered a new year. And not that I had wild success with my goals for last year, but I figured, might as well go loftier. So instead of 8 separate goals, I have multiple goals divided into five categories. (Wow, do I love lists!)

Myself

• Continue with exercise, maintaining my enjoyment. At the top of things to do for this goal is to enroll in a ballet class and design the rest of my exercise around that.
• Meditate regularly. Another holdover from last year. The hardest aspect is just making the time.
• Figure out allergies and food sensitivities; adjust diet accordingly. I'm headed to the allergist later this week to see if anything turns up in this area. It's the latest idea of my endocrinologist, since my bloodwork still insists there's no thyroid problem.
  

Family

• Determine whether or not we'll have a second child. The plan now is to try again, starting in April. We have three pop-sicles remaining, and I've pretty much decided that's the determining factor. If I'm not pregnant after three tries with this donor, I'm done. I haven't quite figured out how miscarriage(s) might come into play, but that's very much on my mind.
• Make sure Scooter gets the support he needs at school and at home. This will start with a solid IEP in February. Even more crucial will be the transition to first grade with a new teacher. I'll also be working on a sensory diet for him at home, since I remain convinced that the better able he is to handle his sensitivities, the easier other things will be.
• Develop a range of go-to recipes. I've already started this, particularly with some crockpot cooking, but my goal is to have enough easy-to-ccok dishes in my repertoire to cover four or five nights a week in a month without repetition.

Home

• De-clutter. This is a slow-and-steady kind of goal. My plan is to devote an hour a week, in segments of fifteen or twenty minutes, to surfaces and drawers and just all of the stuff that has somehow taken over. I will never be an "everything must go in its place" kind of person, but I would like to cut through all the excess papers and such that we've now moved a couple times. I fully expect that I can spend an hour a week (and occasionally more) on this every week of the year and still not get to the end.
  
• Organize my desk and work area. Another task that will get an hour a week. Once I get it under control, I will try to maintain it with fifteen minutes a week. Then I can use a little of that "extra" time to tackle the papers mentioned above.
• Start some green projects in the house. Trillian and I have a mental list, which I hope to commit to paper, starting with some windows. What we tackle after that will depend greatly on finances, so we'll also be focusing on...
• Focus on reducing, reusing, recycling, rethinking. We've already started re-appropriating items for new uses and just not buying things without debating if we really need them. This year, I hope to bring Scooter into this more.
  

School

• Finish my comps. Brought directly over from last year. I am taking leave until August, so I can't officially take my last set of exams until after that, but I hope to set them up for September and October.
• Submit my thesis proposal. Just the next step after comps, but one I'll need to get done soon after, especially if I might be taking maternity leave.
• Use NaNoWriMo for thesis writing. It's not the intended purpose of National Novel Writing Month, but the timing will be just right for me to try to get as many words down as possible. My plan is to pour out various starts and stops, thoughts as they come to me, the ideas that are unsupported as of yet. Then I can take bits of it and prune it into shape while chasing down the appropriate references.
  

Online

• Restart The Mouse's Kitchen. I've been having a lot of fun in my physical kitchen and really want to share some of it with others. Since I'll be working on recipes anyway, I can post my favorites. I'll also be writing about coffee, because we've been having some fun on that front too.
• Post a minimum of five times (here and the Kitchen combined). I've had plenty to say, but have made it here only once a week or so. When I do post on my food blog, I'll link to it from here, at least for a little while. I'll be devoting an entire post to my plans for these sites in the next couple days.
  
• Work on two sites under my real name. Not linking to them here. One is a family site, and I don't update nearly often enough. The other is a parenting site Trillian started, but hasn't had time to tweak as she would like or to add new content regularly. I'll be writing there and monkeying with in the background.

Now let's stand back and watch how quickly I forget I ever planned these goals.

Because I'm still ignoring the new year and am not yet dealing with resolutions/goals

I ran by the local grocery store this afternoon to pick up our junk food; that's all we needed since I'd already made the week's official run. In my basket: two frozen pizzas, potato chips, and two bottles of liquor.

Since this is the only grocery store in Springfield, we have one of their savers cards. One of the benefits is supposed to be the bonus coupons printed out with each transaction. Usually they're keyed in some way to the purchases, discounts on either the items purchased or comparable items from other brands.

So the coupon that printed off with the above purchase? Poise bladder control pads.

Dude, it's not like I was going to consume all of the above in one sitting!

***

Hearing Talking Heads' "Once in a Lifetime" in the car today reminded me of an exchange with some fellow students last year.

We were all filtering in before seminar, early enough that the professor wasn't there yet. A male student was humming a bit and apologetically explained, "I put Talking Heads' Remain in Light on a couple days ago and just can't get the songs out of my head."

I responded enthusiastically, "I have a bunch of their songs on my Shuffle and always find one of their songs to listen to before an exam."

A female student (one I've written about before as annoying me greatly) joined in to add, "Must be before my time. I have no idea who you're talking about."

Now my male colleague is pretty close to her age, and he both knows and appreciates their music. But even more importantly, how could she have ever appreciated Kermit the Frog in the big suit?



***

Our alma mater made it into a bowl game this year. Since it was a manageable driving distance and in a city with an Ikea, we decided to take a couple days to take it in. Trillian didn't realize until we were there that the last football game I attended was the homecoming game my sophomore year of high school--and that, only because the friend who was driving me to the dance was in the band.

I can follow football much better than I could 20 years ago, and I definitely found that being there made it more exciting than watching at home.

Trillian assures me that I can lay claim to the full college football experience since I had the opportunity to witness a drunken fan getting tossed out of the game. Some perky blonde type, who I'd seen go past us multiple times with a couple beers throughout the game, got into an argument with someone else during the fourth quarter. She was disruptive enough that other people in the same team colors as her were shouting at her to sit down. I believe that the official reason she was asked politely by security, and then more forcefully by a police officer, to leave the area was the cussing she eventually broke into.

Most amusing to me was that her boyfriend was obviously scared of her. Even when the police officer was clearly explaining that this could be done the easy or hard way, he was looking back and forth between the two, deciding which one was scarier.

***

I have now assembled enough Ikea furniture to feel assured of my butch credentials again (despite the foofy top and shimmery lip balm I'm wearing). I think this is a large part of the Ikea appeal for me. I get to work with tools and build things, but don't have to do any of the planning or detail work.

The down side is that we now have all of the furniture we've been planning to get for our house. So now I'll have to do things like clean and de-clutter.

But maybe I can carry my ratchet around in my back pocket while I do those things, just to maintain the image.

My work's cut out for me

One week left in the year, and it just crossed my mind that I had a lofty to-do list at the beginning of the year. And then I thought, "Aha, easy post."

So let's see where things stand. My lofty plans:

• We will figure out how big our family will be.

Still working on this one, hopefully will have an answer next year.

• I will find a way to enjoy exercising again.

I've done pretty well on this. I don't work out as much as I did in the first half of the year, but I regularly make time. Walking on the treadmill for 45-60 minutes is not too much of a chore. And I started dancing again, which is helping to give me a new peace with my body.

• I will finish my comps.

Eek. Got done with the first set and then hit the doldrums. Am now on leave and cannot officially take the final set until next September. Oh well.

• I will complete an environmental audit of our new house and devise a plan for how we can minimize our impact.

Not completed thoroughly, but Trillian and I both have a pretty good idea of what we would like to do and where we will start. Now to find a little extra money.

• We will hang artwork in at least two different rooms.

I went out of my way to hang artwork in one room, artwork we purchased this year. We have also put numerous items up in Scooter's room, though train birthday decorations and a paper-bowl spider are not what I initially had in mind. On the other hand, we hung one of our framed prints in the living room on an existing nail ages ago, but think it's probably the right place for it. So maybe I'm ahead on this one if we count Scooter's room.

(And I just looked up and remembered that the corkboard I covered with some cloth I really like is hanging in my office area, so maybe that counts too.)

• We will get Scooter evaluated and determine what supports he'll have in school.

This is, of course, an ongoing goal with no definite end, as we are always monitoring his progress and deciding what adjustments need to be made. But we did get him in for multiple evaluations and have developed a good working relationship with his IEP team. Even though we have to wait until next August/September for a follow-up to the inconclusive autism evaluation, I don't think that will fundamentally change his supports in school--although getting a diagnosis would put him into a category that would guarantee us supports for longer than his current, catch-all category.

• I will experiment with gluten-free baking.

And I did. I have a go-to bread recipe now, and I've tried a whole host of recipes for the cravings that have come up: gingerbread, holiday cookies, birthday cakes, tiramisu cupcakes, crackers, bagels (the one recipe that really didn't work for me), even graham crackers.

I've also been making extensive use of my crockpot, largely thanks to this site, especially since most of the recipes are gluten-free. If my main Christmas wish has been heard, there will be a brand-new, larger crockpot under the tree for me tomorrow.

(This is a good time to mention that I plan on bringing back The Mouse's Kitchen in the new year.)

• I will meditate regularly.

Another one I need to work on some more. I started back with this just in the past week, although I have to admit that I'm trying to pack as much into my meditation as I can. I've been meditating in a constructive rest position my dance teacher showed me, with my feet in a set of Pampered Toes (an attempt to get pressure off my bunions). The endocrinologist seems to think that stress may be behind my current hair loss, so here's hoping meditation can slow that down.

Somehow I don't think I'll be making much headway in the next year, so I may as well begin working on next year's list.

Snow day

We've been expecting this day for a while. It was just a matter of when the force and timing of the storm would make it impossible to get roads cleared in the morning. By yesterday afternoon, they'd already called a two-hour delay for this morning; by the time we woke up, everything had been canceled.

A good thing too. Before Trillian got her computer booted up, I tried to imagine how I would get a usually lagging 5 1/2-year-old through snow up to his knees the five or so blocks to school. No way to carry him that distance or even to get the car out of our cul-de-sac. I contemplated bringing the snow shovel and clearing a path as we went. And then dealing with the inevitable back pain.

Instead, we got to hang out in our pajamas for longer than usual, eat a hearty family breakfast, and then prepare for some outdoor fun. Trillian, Scooter, and one of our neighbors spent an hour or so sledding. I joined them for a bit with Zee, who leaps enthusiastically through snow banks up to his chest--and he is a LARGE dog.

After warming up, the neighbor came over to play some more with Scooter. He stayed for hours, but it was very pleasant (other than Scooter's temporary suspicions that his friend might have some designs on his trains). Besides trains, they built Lego creations and especially played together on our Wii.

Then a final trip outside, first in the backyard for snowballs and snow angels and tackling the dog, then out front for more sledding. Trillian and I switched supervisory roles part of the way through.

Our winter stuff is spread around the house, cold and wet, but a testament to the fun we eked out of an unplanned day together.

When is it not enough?

In almost area, we're a really great match. People pick up on this; I can't count the number of times someone has said we're perfect for each other.

Maybe this is why the one area that doesn't work for us is such a problem. Maybe this is why it seems likely to be the one thing that will drive us apart.

Without going into details, but still making my point, it would be an understatement to say that we have incompatible libidos. Hell, we're two women who have lived together for years and our cycles have almost never synched up.

It seems ridiculous that this could cause as much trouble as it does. There's been no cheating, no grand betrayals, not even little secrets. If we could just leave sex out of it, everything would be fine.

But it just doesn't seem to work that way. So instead there's a lot of latent (and not-so-latent) anger and frustration that finds its way out every once in a while. Occasionally we talk of separation or sanctioned cheating or maybe vow to improve things. And then it gets dropped until we hit another crisis point.

I'm sleeping on the couch tonight and am not sure even that is enough space.

Holiday headaches

For the most part I have loads of holiday spirit. Really. Our house has been decorated, presents bought, many of them wrapped. But let's face it, it wouldn't be the holidays without some stress.

The tree issue was the first hurdle. We haven't had one since we hosted Christmas the December before Scooter was born. That year we opted for a real tree over fake, because we did a bunch of research and were squicked out by the lead content and PVC of artificial trees, especially with a baby on the way. I've glossed over the issue every year since then, as we've always traveled to my in-laws. (They have an artificial tree, but I try to stay calm and just make sure we wash our hands after touching it.)

Even though we visit the in-laws regularly, it seemed like a good year to revisit the issue since we're in our house and I even knew where the box of decorations were. I had thought that there were a couple companies with fake trees that no longer contained any lead--at least that's what they said when I looked last year--and I reasoned that a plastic tree we would keep for many, many years would be an acceptable environmental impact, but the lead-free designation had been removed everywhere I looked.

So we have a modest-sized fir tree, fully decorated. Quite festive, really. Enough so that my guilt is mostly tamped down.

In time for the next headache...

So my in-laws' retirement is pretty much in stocks, including some companies that have been hit particularly hard this year. It is not as dire a situation as many that I've read about, but they definitely need to be scaling back. Add to this the fact that Scooter always ends up with much more than we plan for the holidays, and Trillian and I have been trying to moderate things. I volunteered to handle stockings this year, mostly so that I could focus on useful and reusable items instead of random plastic knick-knacks (not to mention tons of sugary candy, which is not good for anyone in the family, especially the diabetic). And since our immediate family took a trip that included a stop at a Lego Store, the plan was that we would pick up items Scooter wanted and various family members could reimburse us. This meant we could focus on items that Scooter really wanted and control their vast number.

Except that my mother-in-law sent an email earlier this week with a list of all the things she had picked up that day. A couple were non-Lego items Scooter wanted, but most were extra things--and she had even picked out things for other family members to give him. Really truly, we're looking at almost double the gifts we had thought would be coming from this side of the family.

A little quick work on my part, and I've been able to match up items with my family. Saves them the shipping. One sister already had something for Scooter, but she's going to hold it back for his birthday. My mother actually had in mind one of the Legos we have here, so she was happy to lay claim to it.

Trillian and I will be holding back an item we managed to get via our credit card rewards program. It's a bit annoying since we're looking forward to how much Scooter (and we) will enjoy it. But since he has no idea it's coming, it's the easiest thing to hold back until March.

So, despite some lingering frustration, that problem is solved too. So now I can worry about the next one...

Since my in-laws will be out of town until a couple days before the holidays, we'll be responsible for picking up a family member from the airport in Big City. There are a number of logistical issues here. I have a doctor's appointment in Capital City up until we're supposed to pick her up (but it was the earliest I could get in to see the endocrinologist, who will most likely tell me that my thyroid looks fine and she can't explain the increased hair loss, but that's not a holiday headache, just a normal one). So she'll already have to wait. And then we'll probably need to have the dog with us since we'll be gone a minimum of 6 hours, probably longer. And our vehicle can't accommodate everyone comfortably with the dog added. So I have a week to find a petsitter I like and get the dog comfortable with her.

And I'm not even going to think about entertaining Scooter while he's out of school for two weeks.