Back from wi-fi hell

Originally, my weekend away with Trillian for our friend's wedding was going to be a tech-free affair. Then, at the last minute, we decided to bring my laptop so that we could check our email and keep up with any news on the house-front. But of course, once the internet is up, it's never just a matter of checking one email account... or ignoring Bloglines and the daily puzzle.

Except, we spent a lot of time wrangling and cursing at the hotel's wi-fi. For which we had to pay $10. The signal was weak, the speed pathetic (from 1 Mbps to 11). We eventually gave up, though not until after a few important discoveries:

• The owners of the house we're buying are so thankful their house is under contract and that we may have saved their lives (by alerting them to the carbon monoxide factory that is their furnace) that they've agreed to fix everything we asked for. That's a good $10,000 or so in repairs we won't have to do.
• Trillian decided to Google the brand of the range in the kitchen. She found that it's a restaurant-grade appliance that cost just under $5000--at the low end.
• The above two items have helped Trillian quiet her grumbling that we should have pushed harder on the price.
• Although Pottery Barn wouldn't allow us to purchase a wedding gift for our friend (no Canadian billing addresses, even if shipping in the US), Target would. It's too bad we couldn't get our first choice gift, some red wine glasses, since it has significance for the weekly steak-and-wine dinner she and Trillian had when they were on travel for the same work project, but at least someone was willing to take our money online.

As for the wedding, I have a lot swirling around in my head. Such events always make me think about relationships and the like. In case I don't get around to a dedicated post sometime soon, some observations (which will also serve as reminders if I do ever write that post):

• Since this was a lesbian wedding, Trillian and I spent some time dissecting other lesbian relationships. Sadly, this was mostly to note the end of long-term relationships among our friends.
• One of those was the relationship between our friend who was getting married (I'll call her L. since I can't remember how far I got through the alphabet before) and her ex. L. moved a long distance to live with her ex several years ago. Trillian had her doubts about that relationship (so many personality differences, plus the ex gave L. a hard time about hanging out with Trillian) and it did end not too long after L.'s move. But she stayed in the area after the breakup and met her new wife.
• Trillian and I talked about the necessary ingredients for a healthy lasting relationship. Number one on our list was a shared sense of humor. This is, of course, influenced by our own view of why we work so well together, but I do think it's very important in general.
• There were numerous reminders for us both about why we are happy we eloped. Don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful weekend and we completely understand why our friend and her wife wanted this symbolic ceremony. They are definitely at the beginning of their time together and wanted to make their intentions clear to their friends and family. When we finally got married, it was our 12th anniversary--most people who knew us recognized our relationship as equivalent to marriage, so making a public declaration of it would have been anti-climactic.
• Nevertheless, Trillian has floated the idea about having an anniversary party this year or next (though in the summer instead of February). We have had enough people express an interest in celebrating our relationship that it might not be totally out of place. Of course, we're thinking barbecue and a mostly outdoor location, very low-key, very child-friendly.
• We were a bit surprised to realize we were the only lesbian couple there, likely the only gay people other than the couple getting married. And so the weekend was a reminder of the model Trillian and I remain. There is no doubt in my mind that L. truly wanted us there--she and Trillian were great friends when they worked together and have stayed in touch; both Trillian and I have hung out with her and her other friends--but I think we were also a subtle reminder to L.'s parents, who are mostly wonderful but sometimes still have a problem with the lesbian thing, that there are same-sex couples out there with long, loving relationships. And who produce grandkids.
• And one last thing, really a confirmation of what we already knew rather than an observation: Trillian is really, really allergic to smoke. A casino was the headquarters for the wedding, and the smoke drifted into all parts of the first floor. Our floor was non-smoking, but we spent just enough time on the main floor--in the Starbucks, on the casino floor (only an hour or so, enough to lose $40 or so), in the banquet room--that the exposure to smoke was significantly more than we're used to at this point; we've gotten so used to living in areas with smoking bans. Yesterday Trillian had a sore throat and irritated sinuses. When she got to the doctor today, it had developed into an ear infection. Now she's doped up on antibiotics and allergy medications, and we're crossing our fingers she's enough better that the trip home in two days doesn't make the pain worse.