Back when I started this blog, I fully intended to devise pseudonyms for my wife and son. Because, let's face it, just saying "my wife" and "my son" is cumbersome and boring. Yet somehow, I never quite got around to it.
Then I agreed to write for the new Mommy Blogs Toronto. It sounded like fun and might give me a new (or at least broader) audience. So I signed up and didn't worry about the details until I had to do things like come up with a title and a description. And in that process, I revisited the whole name issue.
So, since the names will be hitting the ether in my new 'column' soon, I thought I'd introduce them here.
For my wife, I have chosen (with her consent) Trillian. The name comes from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, one that both my wife and I really love. Trillian is a woman Arthur Dent, the protagonist, once met at a party, but struck out with, when she was known as Tricia MacMillan. He runs into her again, when he is picked up by a passing spaceship after being ejected from another one by the Vogons. It is a statistically improbable event, made possible by the Infinite Improbability Drive on the Heart of Gold. If all of that means nothing to you, go read the book, listen to the radio play, rent the movie.
Aside from the common interest, I have a sappy reason for choosing this name. Sure Adams plays it for the laughs, but there's something about the randomness of who we cross paths with and, against all odds, finding someone. My wife (I swear, I'll switch to Trillian soon) and I made a lot of choices along the way and could have ended up in very different places. I don't necessarily believe in Fate (with the capital F), but I get the sense that we would have met one way or another. We seriously considered several of the same schools for our undergraduate studies, and she thought about applying to the residence I lived in for a couple years. Not quite traversing the universe, but still an amazing statistical event.
The reason for the name (with my wife's help) I've chosen for my son here is less deep. He's had a whole range of nicknames, but most of them are based on variations of his name, so they would violate the whole anonymity thing. And then there are the names that wouldn't hold up to common decency; I don't think he'd appreciate pages covered with "Stinker Butt." So Scooter it is. Probably not a big surprise that he earned that nickname during the days he was learning to crawl.
So now I'm done with that, and only 3+ months after I intended to.
BTW, tomorrow is my 100th post (I think, need to recheck the numbers).
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Lukewarm
I should be ecstatic. The Democrats took the House of Representatives. And not just barely. More seats than predicted. They have a comfortable cushion.
And the Senate too. That was a truly pleasant surprise. That was not on the list of predictions. Yet there we sit, 49 seats for each of the major parties and 2 independents who have pledged their support to the Democrats.
We control both houses. That has not been the case since Bill Clinton's first term.*
And yet, I'm not nearly as happy as I'd predicted.
It's the states. As happened in the previous election, the one that precipitated our move to Canada, several states passed bans on gay marriage. On the plus side, Arizona rejected such a ban--the first state to do so. We had our fingers crossed on Colorado; there were ballot issues both for domestic partnership and for a ban. Didn't go our way. We watched Virginia with an air of resignation. The ban they passed there is the most comprehensive one to date--a ban on recognizing anything that approximates marriage. It will most likely go to the courts, possibly be overturned, since it's written in such a way that it could be interpreted to nullify wills and powers-of-attorney, for any non-married couples. It passed with a smaller margin than expected, so small favors.
I had been waiting for this election, looking for it to serve as some sort of barometer. I don't know exactly what I expected--a vast sea-change in which the states and federal government suddenly reversed course and welcomed my family with open arms. OK, not realistic, and I'm not sure why I invested so much in this one election.
I'll be looking at a permanent resident application any day now.
*If I'm remembering correctly. I saw the figure in an article that it's been 12 years. 12 years--has it really been that long!
And the Senate too. That was a truly pleasant surprise. That was not on the list of predictions. Yet there we sit, 49 seats for each of the major parties and 2 independents who have pledged their support to the Democrats.
We control both houses. That has not been the case since Bill Clinton's first term.*
And yet, I'm not nearly as happy as I'd predicted.
It's the states. As happened in the previous election, the one that precipitated our move to Canada, several states passed bans on gay marriage. On the plus side, Arizona rejected such a ban--the first state to do so. We had our fingers crossed on Colorado; there were ballot issues both for domestic partnership and for a ban. Didn't go our way. We watched Virginia with an air of resignation. The ban they passed there is the most comprehensive one to date--a ban on recognizing anything that approximates marriage. It will most likely go to the courts, possibly be overturned, since it's written in such a way that it could be interpreted to nullify wills and powers-of-attorney, for any non-married couples. It passed with a smaller margin than expected, so small favors.
I had been waiting for this election, looking for it to serve as some sort of barometer. I don't know exactly what I expected--a vast sea-change in which the states and federal government suddenly reversed course and welcomed my family with open arms. OK, not realistic, and I'm not sure why I invested so much in this one election.
I'll be looking at a permanent resident application any day now.
*If I'm remembering correctly. I saw the figure in an article that it's been 12 years. 12 years--has it really been that long!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
His heart is racing
Depending on your perspective, there was something more important than the elections in the States on November 7th.
Cars came out on DVD.
Rather than wait and see who had it for the cheapest, we went ahead and pre-ordered from the Disney Store.* The selling point? The four free prints that came with it. Instant decorating theme for my son. We also got a 15% off coupon good during the first few days the video could be picked up.
So on my way home from school, I made a little detour to the mall to get the video and a few other goodies. Most of those have gone into a drawer to be pulled out later, as needed. I would worry about him losing interest, but I feel pretty confident that this thing will have legs at least through the holiday season.
Of course, the highlight was showing him the DVD box and his excited, "You bring me the Cars DVD!" Then, my wife and I stood off to the side and watched his face as the movie began. He giggled at the first image of cars zooming around and then smiled just about the biggest smile possible.
I have written before about wanting, once upon a time, to avoid too much branding, too much Disney, but I've given in. And with Cars, I've embraced it. It was my son's first movie in the theater, a magical moment that I will always treasure.
Plus, it's got a solid lesson, fun characters, and some great music (I definitely need the Sheryl Crow song that starts the whole thing)! Which is all good since I expect I'll be seeing this once a day for the next few weeks.
*It was, of course, more expensive than in the US, but the free prints more than make up for that. I also noticed only a $1 difference from the other places I've seen it for sale, so not a bad purchase.
Cars came out on DVD.
Rather than wait and see who had it for the cheapest, we went ahead and pre-ordered from the Disney Store.* The selling point? The four free prints that came with it. Instant decorating theme for my son. We also got a 15% off coupon good during the first few days the video could be picked up.
So on my way home from school, I made a little detour to the mall to get the video and a few other goodies. Most of those have gone into a drawer to be pulled out later, as needed. I would worry about him losing interest, but I feel pretty confident that this thing will have legs at least through the holiday season.
Of course, the highlight was showing him the DVD box and his excited, "You bring me the Cars DVD!" Then, my wife and I stood off to the side and watched his face as the movie began. He giggled at the first image of cars zooming around and then smiled just about the biggest smile possible.
I have written before about wanting, once upon a time, to avoid too much branding, too much Disney, but I've given in. And with Cars, I've embraced it. It was my son's first movie in the theater, a magical moment that I will always treasure.
Plus, it's got a solid lesson, fun characters, and some great music (I definitely need the Sheryl Crow song that starts the whole thing)! Which is all good since I expect I'll be seeing this once a day for the next few weeks.
*It was, of course, more expensive than in the US, but the free prints more than make up for that. I also noticed only a $1 difference from the other places I've seen it for sale, so not a bad purchase.
Living up to the promise of blogging my politics
Today is the first major election day in the States since I moved north of the border. I voted via absentee ballot a couple weeks ago--the powers that be allow my wife and me to vote for federal-level offices based on our old home address. So now we're just sitting and waiting to hear the results. While this election won't see the end of W.'s reign, there is the possibility of a shift of power in the houses; the House of Representatives looks like it will flip to the Democrats, the Senate is not quite as certain.
I have a lot at state, psychologically speaking, in this election. In some ways, this is the barometer that will help me determine if my home country is ever likely to move in a direction that would allow my family to move back home. I guess I have this fantasy that if the Democrats take power, they will immediately pass a federal bill on gay marriage* that would somehow be veto-proof, and voila, we could live wherever we wanted with protection in place for our family.
More practically, the scenario will probably play out as follows: the Democrats gain much power in both houses, probably with the majority of Representatives and almost even in the Senate. As a result, nearly nothing will be accomplished at the federal level for the next two years. And there will be no progress on a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Which is something.
I think there will be more movement at the state level. There are several states with a variety of propositions affecting my family right now, both for and against our rights. The awful law in Virginia will most likely pass (saying that the state won't recognize any contracts between non-married people that would approximate the rights of marriage--it's poorly written and will cause problems well beyond what's intended). But there are a few states, such as Wisconsin, where it's looking like there might not be enough support to pass laws banning official recognition of same-sex relationships. And in Colorado, there are two propositions on the ballot, one creating some sort of official recognition, the other banning recognition. It's very close on the former, but at least the latter looks like it might be defeated, especially since one of the most strident opponents of gay marriage was recently caught out in some outrageous lies, proving yet again what can happen when Republicans try to repress their true identity by stridently opposing what they are.
I don't intend to watch numbers scroll by on CNN, but it's really tempting to stay up until midnight so that I can watch the coverage by Stewart and Colbert.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with a link to a truly hilarious article that will also make you pause. When I first read it, I laughed out loud at parts. And then I noticed the byline. That is in fact the Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. Those men are not just funny, they're damn smart too.
*Or civil union or whatever. Right now, I don't care what it's called as long as my family is protected and I don't have to carry paperwork with me everywhere (which I don't always do, though I'm nervous when we travel without).
I have a lot at state, psychologically speaking, in this election. In some ways, this is the barometer that will help me determine if my home country is ever likely to move in a direction that would allow my family to move back home. I guess I have this fantasy that if the Democrats take power, they will immediately pass a federal bill on gay marriage* that would somehow be veto-proof, and voila, we could live wherever we wanted with protection in place for our family.
More practically, the scenario will probably play out as follows: the Democrats gain much power in both houses, probably with the majority of Representatives and almost even in the Senate. As a result, nearly nothing will be accomplished at the federal level for the next two years. And there will be no progress on a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Which is something.
I think there will be more movement at the state level. There are several states with a variety of propositions affecting my family right now, both for and against our rights. The awful law in Virginia will most likely pass (saying that the state won't recognize any contracts between non-married people that would approximate the rights of marriage--it's poorly written and will cause problems well beyond what's intended). But there are a few states, such as Wisconsin, where it's looking like there might not be enough support to pass laws banning official recognition of same-sex relationships. And in Colorado, there are two propositions on the ballot, one creating some sort of official recognition, the other banning recognition. It's very close on the former, but at least the latter looks like it might be defeated, especially since one of the most strident opponents of gay marriage was recently caught out in some outrageous lies, proving yet again what can happen when Republicans try to repress their true identity by stridently opposing what they are.
I don't intend to watch numbers scroll by on CNN, but it's really tempting to stay up until midnight so that I can watch the coverage by Stewart and Colbert.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with a link to a truly hilarious article that will also make you pause. When I first read it, I laughed out loud at parts. And then I noticed the byline. That is in fact the Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. Those men are not just funny, they're damn smart too.
*Or civil union or whatever. Right now, I don't care what it's called as long as my family is protected and I don't have to carry paperwork with me everywhere (which I don't always do, though I'm nervous when we travel without).
Monday, November 06, 2006
I am not my writing
One of the major hurdles for me in my writing is handling criticism. I know and understand that constructive criticism is important and can help me develop, but it is still difficult for me not to feel like any criticism of my writing--down to the obvious grammar and spelling errors--is not personal criticism. Recognizing this knee-jerk reaction and trying to ready myself for those situations where it's inevitable helps a little bit, but I haven't overcome my anxiety entirely.
But the party on Saturday helped me realize that I've made some improvements on this front. I freely admitted to Crazy Mumma's better half that ultimately I would like to be doing some serious creative writing, but that I don't have the time or focus to follow through on even a short story right now; yes, it's something I'd like to do more of in the future, but blogging allows me to keep practicing my craft without the pressure of a major product.
Another interesting moment, replayed with variations, was the apology from another blogger that they don't know/read my blog. I think at one point in my writing development, that would have crushed me. But as I stood there, meeting and talking to this amazing array of women, it just didn't matter to me--it didn't feel like a negation of my value, just a simple fact of life. (Ok, so maybe it helped that I was in the same boat; so many blogs I need to check out now!)
And there were many moments that made me feel very good about what I'm doing here. It's nice to have an accurate mental image of the women I'm in conversation with. As I said in a comment somewhere, many people did not look like I expected, but I can't tell you what exactly I did expect. Not only did I get to meet many of the women I've been admiring online, but I discovered that I have my own admirers. I haven't fully processed that yet, but I'm working on it. Nonetheless, one of the true ego-boosting moments was being introduced to Something Baby Blue, and when I shyly explained, "I'm Mouse, my site is the Mouse's Nest," having her respond, "Yes, I know your blog." OK, so from StatCounter I know that I have some readers who don't comment, I just hadn't thought about actually meeting them.
So I'm feeling a bit revitalized and looking forward to bringing you some posts that reflect this.
But the party on Saturday helped me realize that I've made some improvements on this front. I freely admitted to Crazy Mumma's better half that ultimately I would like to be doing some serious creative writing, but that I don't have the time or focus to follow through on even a short story right now; yes, it's something I'd like to do more of in the future, but blogging allows me to keep practicing my craft without the pressure of a major product.
Another interesting moment, replayed with variations, was the apology from another blogger that they don't know/read my blog. I think at one point in my writing development, that would have crushed me. But as I stood there, meeting and talking to this amazing array of women, it just didn't matter to me--it didn't feel like a negation of my value, just a simple fact of life. (Ok, so maybe it helped that I was in the same boat; so many blogs I need to check out now!)
And there were many moments that made me feel very good about what I'm doing here. It's nice to have an accurate mental image of the women I'm in conversation with. As I said in a comment somewhere, many people did not look like I expected, but I can't tell you what exactly I did expect. Not only did I get to meet many of the women I've been admiring online, but I discovered that I have my own admirers. I haven't fully processed that yet, but I'm working on it. Nonetheless, one of the true ego-boosting moments was being introduced to Something Baby Blue, and when I shyly explained, "I'm Mouse, my site is the Mouse's Nest," having her respond, "Yes, I know your blog." OK, so from StatCounter I know that I have some readers who don't comment, I just hadn't thought about actually meeting them.
So I'm feeling a bit revitalized and looking forward to bringing you some posts that reflect this.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Climbing back out of the trenches
During the last two weeks, I was sorely tempted to write a post entitled "Crisis of Faith," in which I would discuss (i.e., whine about) not being madly in love with my area of study and my continued questioning of whether or not the move to Canada was a good idea. I recognize, and even recognized then, that our recent poor health has sapped much of my enthusiasm for anything, but when I was in the big fat middle of it, it was hard to imagine anything improving.
Finally we're crawling out of illness. While my wife does have pneumonia and will be in recovery for some time to come, having the diagnosis and the proper medication has helped our state of mind. I can finally feel the antibiotics working on my sinus infection with the result of fewer dizzy spells, less exhaustion, and the realization that I'm doomed to feel like this for the rest of time. My son is still coughing, but it's not disturbing his sleep as it did before (and some of it is fake--whenever my wife or I cough, we hear a little cough in response).
And I've talked myself back into a truce with my studies. I recognize and duly note that I am not greatly motivated by my current courses. I am also not the kind of person who is so in love my subject area that I want to spend all of my time on it. But I had a chance to talk to some of my friends in my department, to lay out some of my frustrations, and to be reminded that I'm not the only one who feels that way. It doesn't mean I'm finding it easy to devote the time I need to my studies, but I'm not beating myself up over feeling that way.
It also helped that last night I got to meet a whole bunch of wonderful women (and many of their husbands). Ever since I made my first trip back to the States in our quest for child #2 and had a chance to meet up with the two colleagues who were my closest friends at the last school where I taught, I've been aware of how much I miss having 'adult' friends. Not to say that the classmates who have become my friends here are immature, but we're in very different places in our lives. Whenever I bring up something about my son, I usually get a response like, "I don't know how you handle school and having a child." I have missed chatting with people who instead respond in kind. So I finally got a fix of adult conversation. Sure we talked a lot about kids and related tangents, but also a fair amount about schoolwork, education in general, and the virtues of several different cities.
And of course, the night provided me with some more ideas for posts...
Finally we're crawling out of illness. While my wife does have pneumonia and will be in recovery for some time to come, having the diagnosis and the proper medication has helped our state of mind. I can finally feel the antibiotics working on my sinus infection with the result of fewer dizzy spells, less exhaustion, and the realization that I'm doomed to feel like this for the rest of time. My son is still coughing, but it's not disturbing his sleep as it did before (and some of it is fake--whenever my wife or I cough, we hear a little cough in response).
And I've talked myself back into a truce with my studies. I recognize and duly note that I am not greatly motivated by my current courses. I am also not the kind of person who is so in love my subject area that I want to spend all of my time on it. But I had a chance to talk to some of my friends in my department, to lay out some of my frustrations, and to be reminded that I'm not the only one who feels that way. It doesn't mean I'm finding it easy to devote the time I need to my studies, but I'm not beating myself up over feeling that way.
It also helped that last night I got to meet a whole bunch of wonderful women (and many of their husbands). Ever since I made my first trip back to the States in our quest for child #2 and had a chance to meet up with the two colleagues who were my closest friends at the last school where I taught, I've been aware of how much I miss having 'adult' friends. Not to say that the classmates who have become my friends here are immature, but we're in very different places in our lives. Whenever I bring up something about my son, I usually get a response like, "I don't know how you handle school and having a child." I have missed chatting with people who instead respond in kind. So I finally got a fix of adult conversation. Sure we talked a lot about kids and related tangents, but also a fair amount about schoolwork, education in general, and the virtues of several different cities.
And of course, the night provided me with some more ideas for posts...
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Because I no longer have a dog to eat my homework
Dear Professor Of-my-required-Friday-class,
Since I've already missed one of our weekly classes, I recognize that it would not be in my best interest to miss another; however, I have not been able to prepare adequately for tomorrow's class. I recognize that it is my responsibility to spread my work out over the week, but my schedule is such, that Thursdays are my most open day of the week.
Except when I spend the entire day in the emergency room.
As I (and my constant coughing in your class) have made you aware, we've had a virus running through our family. Yesterday my wife developed flu symptoms--aches, chills and a fever that wouldn't go below 101 (38.3 in Celsius), even with Tylenol--along with an additional sharp pain along her rib cage. This morning we were advised to go to the emergency room.
After dropping my son off at preschool, I got my wife to the hospital at 10 am. After about two hours in the outer waiting room, we were brought back to the "fast track waiting room." Over the next three hours, they asked a battery of questions and ran several tests. At 4 pm, with a diagnosis of flu, my wife was still waiting, though we didn't know for what. I had to leave and pick up our son.
My son and I returned home a little before 5 and attended to our usual evening routine (including the first food I'd eaten all day), waiting for a call from my wife--which finally came a little after 7 pm. I bundled my son up, loaded him in the car, and headed back to the hospital.
On the ride home, my wife informed me that she has pneumonia. Again. The second time in three years. But this is actually good news, as her symptoms matched a pulmonary embolism.*
Once I got home and settled my wife in the living room and my son in bed, I headed out to the pharmacy for my wife's prescriptions. By 9 pm, I finally had my shower and dinner. And a chance to do my work.
So I may not have read through it as carefully as I should have.
Sincerely,
Mouse
*And they were so concerned about this urgent issue that it only took 9 hours to get through everything.
Since I've already missed one of our weekly classes, I recognize that it would not be in my best interest to miss another; however, I have not been able to prepare adequately for tomorrow's class. I recognize that it is my responsibility to spread my work out over the week, but my schedule is such, that Thursdays are my most open day of the week.
Except when I spend the entire day in the emergency room.
As I (and my constant coughing in your class) have made you aware, we've had a virus running through our family. Yesterday my wife developed flu symptoms--aches, chills and a fever that wouldn't go below 101 (38.3 in Celsius), even with Tylenol--along with an additional sharp pain along her rib cage. This morning we were advised to go to the emergency room.
After dropping my son off at preschool, I got my wife to the hospital at 10 am. After about two hours in the outer waiting room, we were brought back to the "fast track waiting room." Over the next three hours, they asked a battery of questions and ran several tests. At 4 pm, with a diagnosis of flu, my wife was still waiting, though we didn't know for what. I had to leave and pick up our son.
My son and I returned home a little before 5 and attended to our usual evening routine (including the first food I'd eaten all day), waiting for a call from my wife--which finally came a little after 7 pm. I bundled my son up, loaded him in the car, and headed back to the hospital.
On the ride home, my wife informed me that she has pneumonia. Again. The second time in three years. But this is actually good news, as her symptoms matched a pulmonary embolism.*
Once I got home and settled my wife in the living room and my son in bed, I headed out to the pharmacy for my wife's prescriptions. By 9 pm, I finally had my shower and dinner. And a chance to do my work.
So I may not have read through it as carefully as I should have.
Sincerely,
Mouse
*And they were so concerned about this urgent issue that it only took 9 hours to get through everything.
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