tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post8112951263475493604..comments2023-10-10T12:31:55.576-04:00Comments on The Mouse's Nest: Gender confusionMousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14704189465052882543noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-78471632566936704172013-01-06T22:30:28.570-05:002013-01-06T22:30:28.570-05:00top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]online ...top [url=http://www.c-online-casino.co.uk/]online casinos[/url] check the latest [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/]online casino[/url] free no consign bonus at the chief [url=http://www.baywatchcasino.com/]casino games <br />[/url].Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-31620915482085430702007-10-01T18:26:00.000-04:002007-10-01T18:26:00.000-04:00Wouldn't you know he took the headband off that ni...Wouldn't you know he took the headband off that night and hasn't asked for it since...<BR/><BR/>And I think that the pronoun issue is less a gender issue and more an issue of language delay/lack of ability in reading facial cues.<BR/><BR/>Michelle-I'm not worried about my son being transgender... or gay, for that matter. This is more an issue of my frustration with myself that I have such a gut reaction in favor of gender 'norms.'<BR/><BR/>Laural Dawn-You describe the sort of line we're trying to walk. I'm so glad he's in his current preschool.Mousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14704189465052882543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-91453924275318421472007-10-01T16:30:00.000-04:002007-10-01T16:30:00.000-04:00I soooo hear you on this.I can relate.My son went ...I soooo hear you on this.<BR/>I can relate.<BR/>My son went through a phase of wanting to have his hair in pigtails. I let him and his daycare teacher would get upset and take them out. (we switched daycares)<BR/><BR/>we've also always let him do stuff like play with dolls, etc, and not reinforced the sterotype. But, at the same time when he wanted to be Cinderella for Halloween I drew the line. At home no problem, but I didn't want his daycare friends making fun of him. <BR/><BR/>I think as parents we have to help with those decisions. Like, I want him to know it's okay to like Dora, but that if he dresses like her he will be teased. It's hard. But, I also know that it looks like these are the kids he will go to elementary school with so in some cases I need to protect him. But, playing with dolls, friends who are girls I totally support.<BR/><BR/>As for the pronoun issue - Matt knows the difference but calls everyone "guy". The other day I said I didn't like the juice he was drinking and he said to me "when you turn into a boy you will like my juice." I didn't quite know how to respond.Laural Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08459584652802529868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-82309006216009354042007-09-30T14:16:00.000-04:002007-09-30T14:16:00.000-04:00I hear this, I really do. Having also taken many ...I hear this, I really do. Having also taken many a gender studies course in graduate school, I thought that I knew exactly were I stood and why, but our boys have already caused me to rethink in many ways. They love to play with the purses and doll carriages and beads of their little girl friends and, who wouldn't? Those things are pretty and bright and they sparkle. Everything that the boys own is blue or brown or green. So far, it hasn't gone much beyond the house, but I'm trying to be ready for it when it does.Suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08009988766976677275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-24602689441203834992007-09-30T11:10:00.000-04:002007-09-30T11:10:00.000-04:00If you are "concerned" that your son may turn out ...If you are "concerned" that your son may turn out to be transsexual as a result of a parent's encouragement of gender role typical behaviours, you have little to worry about.<BR/><BR/>If he is transsexual (in particular - I recognize that there is a whole range of cross-gender identities out there), he likely already knows - even if he doesn't have the vocabulary or means to express it.<BR/><BR/>Common among cross-gender people is a sense that something was "wrong" from their earliest memories - no matter what kind of upbringing they have. (I liken the experience to having the "wrong half of the social rulebook", and you just never quite "get it" in terms of social behavior - it all winds up feeling unnatural until the process of gender transition begins)<BR/><BR/>Nobody knows the causes of cross-gender identity - the evidence is simply too sparse. While socialization factors may well play a role in the ability to adapt, there is no clear evidence that ties childhood cross-gender behaviour to adult cross-gender identity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-49851746998108618152007-09-30T01:29:00.000-04:002007-09-30T01:29:00.000-04:00It is so difficult to be a scholar and a parent fi...It is so difficult to be a scholar and a parent finding a comfortable space between the theory and reality. Ultimately you want your child to be happy and I am willing to compromise somewhat when it comes to my principles because I don't yet know what my children's are (god help me they will be conservative bigots no doubt.)<BR/> <BR/>Erica Ehm had a yummy mummy column about this - not that she is an authority but she did consult a psychologist who told her it was not in her son's best interest to encourage him to keep wearing dresses. She had expected to be applauded for not enforcing gender stereotypes but the psychologist told her at this age those are important for identity.<BR/>I don't know how we address this early without setting our kids up.moplanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998309937928231527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-13482699878358366952007-09-29T23:07:00.000-04:002007-09-29T23:07:00.000-04:00This is so hard--I struggle with it, too. I'll *n...This is so hard--I struggle with it, too. I'll *never* forget the time we were picking out toothbrushes when Liam was 4 and he wanted the pink Tinker Bell one and I steered him in the direction of a more boyish one (I think my actual words were "the tinker bell one is for girls"--I can only say in my defense that was very sleep-deprived but I still feel ashamed to this day).<BR/><BR/>But, that being said, we have succeeded in many other ways at keeping away the gender stereotypes, but it is hard, it really is.Aliki2006https://www.blogger.com/profile/15763865834765963343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-43150626443745452342007-09-29T19:58:00.000-04:002007-09-29T19:58:00.000-04:00Such an interesting post. I have 2 boys, and so I...Such an interesting post. I have 2 boys, and so I am dealing with this as well. The Happy Boy, my older son, was mistaken for a girl about 80% of the time, even when we dressed him in "boyish" clothes.<BR/><BR/>Like Scooter, he was a beautiful baby, with long eyelashes, lots of hair and a bright smile. Strangely, The Weed, my second son, is even prettier, but, without much hair, and has almost never been mistaken for a girl.<BR/><BR/>We are working hard to avoid the gender stereotypes. We have a play doll stroller, and I have done a lot of searching to find boy dolls. I could have purchased a baby girl doll, but I'm not a fan of pink and frilly. As well, I suppose, there is a bit of gender typing involved.<BR/><BR/>My son will play with his doll stroller, cook at his kitchen, build tracks with his trains and play with his dump trucks all in the same afternoon. I encourage all of these things.<BR/><BR/>My son is also struggling with the "boy/girl" thing, I simply correct him but don't make an issue of it. <BR/><BR/>No answers here, of course, just some other perspectives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-77659541918081053492007-09-29T19:19:00.000-04:002007-09-29T19:19:00.000-04:00Did you read Susanne's post on this issue, about h...Did you read Susanne's post on this issue, about her son and the pink socks? No answers, but just a poignant description of that awful moment when his innocent joy in the colour took on a tinge of social shame. <BR/><BR/>In that story, it was a girl who took on the role of reinforcing gender norms - and I notice that Pie is 100% dead-on accurate in identifying people as "man" or "lady," while Bub gets it right maybe 70% of the time. Of course, there are many explanations aside from gender for that gap. But I remember my nursery school days, and how important gender codes were to me - they are comforting, somehow, in a confusing world.Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15957626443087438904noreply@blogger.com