tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post3306071581720882421..comments2023-10-10T12:31:55.576-04:00Comments on The Mouse's Nest: FrustrationsMousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14704189465052882543noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-79929617228349545212008-04-11T20:34:00.000-04:002008-04-11T20:34:00.000-04:00hey that seems like good news.I find it odd too wh...hey that seems like good news.<BR/>I find it odd too when people are tentative about suggesting services. Sign me up!moplanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998309937928231527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-74991975500655549432008-04-10T09:53:00.000-04:002008-04-10T09:53:00.000-04:00The meeting was decent, though it also became clea...The meeting was decent, though it also became clear that there are some things we won't sway her on. She really believes that he's a "spoiled only child." She did have her notebook from autism training out, open to the section on meltdowns. The most important point in that list (all caps and in bold) was to "stop talking." Of course, she gave an example of 3 or 4 sentences she'd say before letting him go to the quiet spot--she can't just STOP TALKING.<BR/><BR/>On the plus side, I think she realized in recounting some incidents to us that they need to follow what we know works for him better. He's had meltdowns over things like being in the middle of playing and then being told it's his turn to do table work; they're going to try either to have him do his table work first so it doesn't interrupt what he wants to do or to tell him when the kid before him is going ("After Johnny finishes, it's your turn) so he'll have adequate warning.<BR/><BR/>She seemed a bit tentative when suggesting that maybe he'll need more than the current hour a week of services he has (OT) for kindergarten. Trillian and I are perfectly fine with him having an occasional shadow to help him through transitions. In fact, my biggest concerns for kindergarten are working on general "school skills"; he'd probably be fine not doing a lick of academics.Mousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14704189465052882543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-77281051058871153002008-04-10T07:07:00.000-04:002008-04-10T07:07:00.000-04:00I think you're really right to point out the diffe...I think you're really right to point out the difference between tantrums and meltdowns. It's funny in a dry, ironic way, too, how so many people shrugged off L.'s terrible meltdowns when he was younger but as soon as he hit four it just wasn't funny/acceptable for him to be having meltdowns in public. Nothing sends people scurrying away when a five, or six, or seven-year old has a meltdown in public.<BR/><BR/>Good luck at the meeting...Aliki2006https://www.blogger.com/profile/15763865834765963343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-2654541439315843362008-04-09T21:43:00.000-04:002008-04-09T21:43:00.000-04:00I hope the meeting went well. Your plan to meet hi...I hope the meeting went well. <BR/>Your plan to meet his needs seems pretty clear to me. If she cannot deal with this she shouldn't be working in the school so I hope she steps up.moplanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16998309937928231527noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-1106660836295392132008-04-09T10:35:00.000-04:002008-04-09T10:35:00.000-04:00This teacher has also grabbed onto the fact that S...This teacher has also grabbed onto the fact that Scooter is an only child and therefore being "a spoiled only" is the cause of problems like difficulty sharing. Never mind that he's been in daycare since he was 18-months-old and that being territorial over toys and such is another common trait in Asperger's.<BR/><BR/>And it's a whole extra category of frustration when people want to dismiss his meltdowns as common tantrums ("like most preschoolers have").<BR/><BR/>You're also right, Bea, in that there are subtle differences in the types of meltdowns and sometimes touch will help calm him down and sometimes it sparks another level of meltdown--I haven't quite broken them down like you have, but can generally judge the situation to figure out what's called for.Mousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14704189465052882543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31602017.post-7244740038720413462008-04-09T07:27:00.000-04:002008-04-09T07:27:00.000-04:00Oh, yes. When I went to pick Bub up from nursery ...Oh, yes. When I went to pick Bub up from nursery school two days ago he was crying so hard I assumed he must have broken his wrist. No - he was crying because the teachers had made him put on his spring coat. <BR/><BR/>The transition from winter to spring outerwear is always fraught with conflict, but I was taken aback by just how entrenched his resistance to change was until I realized that two triggers were at work here: his resistance to change and his need to control his body and actions. He doesn't often need to control his external environment, but he does feel an intense urge to do only self-initiated actions. So putting on his spring coat was like the perfect storm of wrongness for him.<BR/><BR/>Still, I make a distinction between those kind of goal-oriented meltdowns and the kind that emerge from a sense of shame (like when he is rebuked by an adult he doesn't know well, an experience that always causes him intense and awful despair). If he's melting down because he's feeling sad or embarrassed, I rush to comfort him, while if he's melting down in order to avoid doing something he doesn't want to do, I find the shortest way out is through - after that one major protest, he has accepted his spring coat without a murmur. <BR/><BR/>I don't find that his nursery school teacher really accepts this distinction: to her, the crying is all goal-oriented, which is not to say that he can control it, but at least that it arises from things that he wants and isn't getting. I just kind of put up with the fact that she very clearly thinks that I live in fear of and thus coddle the tantrums.<BR/><BR/>So yes. I get it.Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15957626443087438904noreply@blogger.com